The alien pictured in this photo actually came into my house in the middle of the night. I heard some bumping and knocking, and thinking it was a cat, grabbed my baseball bat and marched into the front room to teach it a lesson "Bob-Style!" (beating it with a bat). It wasn't a cat. It was a little alien. I wanted to beat the living daylights out of him, but he popped around and mesmerized me with some unseen waves. He was hanging out by the computer and as I slowly wandered over I was able to glance and see that he was watching the youtubes on the inter-wide web, and giggling. He smelled a bit like tin and there was a strange haze emenating from his skin. He looked at me, pointed a finger and said; "Britney Goldberg" and giggled. A theremin played, I couldn't tell where the sound was coming from. I could see he'd eaten some potato chips and had a to-go cup that he'd fished out of the garbage and chewed, then dropped on the floor. He tapped the computer mouse and played the clip of the alien space-ship one mo' time, then pointed at it and said, in a garbled, electric-tinged vocalization; "Me...me ship...eight hundred five thousand hits in two days...I am a hit on the internet..."

I blacked out and came to I don't know when. It could have been an hour later, it could have been fifteen minutes. I blacked out again, immediately, and this time I woke up exactly 1 hour after I'd first blacked out. Then I blacked out again, just to see if I still had it in me. It went great - I don't remember a thing.

The point is, the aliens are trying to waste our time, and we mustn't let them. The human race is on a mission. We are working, striving, to better ourselves, make peace, share our experiences and feelings, and grow in fellowship. But first we need to bomb Iran. But then we're back on track for all those other things. Ignore the time-wasters!