Great news...I sold a pitch!!
I was sitting here, staring at the unpleasant keyboard, checking Youtube for the umpteenth time (wow, I just used "youtube" right near the word "umpteenth"...that sentence crosses like 5 generations), and it occurred to me...showbiz goes in cycles. It's very true. Cowboy movies popular in the early 60's...then in the early 70's as spaghetti westerns...then most recently with 3:10 to Yuma and ...I don't know, were there any others? Slapstick comedy very popular in the 40's, then again with the Stooges in TV reruns in the 70's, then Farrelly bros. and Sandler movies in the 90's.
So I thought...reach way back. Further than most people. Don't just try to re-invent blaxploitation films...the seventies is well-mined. Find something that is well past due for a renaissance, a re-imagining, a new hey-day. "A new hey-day"?! Sayyyy you chump, why I think the 1940's maybe had some pretty snazzy notions, did it not? Then it hit me...something from another venue entirely, before TV...ticker-tape parades. That's right...you heard me...ticker-mother-fucking-tape parades!!!
No writing need be done. It's "reality". Massively entertaining. Can be on every news cast. You can shoot them to fill prime time. Who says we have to wait for the Rose Bowl Parade to see some pageantry? Make them cool, hip...call 'em "P-Rades"...better yet!--"P-RADS", oh yeah! Feature the latest celebrities sitting beside the latest politicians, getting showered with the latest tickertape shreds. How does this make money? Talk about a venue for embedded advertising! Ads on the sides of cars, worked into the designs of floats, marching bands playing corporate jingles. It's got everything. You could even get some dumb dick to sit there and "judge" them. Do 'em once a week. Once a night! "Thursday Night P-RAD!", "Wednesday Night P-RAD!", "Saturday Night Double-P-RAD!" This is not your Daddys' P-Rad.
Oh, and guess what...you get P-Diddy to host.
Next thing you know our local high schools will be filled with kids jabbering excitedly about...
"Hey, did you see the P-Rad, last night?"
"Yeah, it was totally Rad, man! Did you see Tony Hawk slowwwwly riding down 5th F'n Avenue beside the Serb leader Klajko Vistrinivich and Socialite Tenny Hustings?! I almost split my dimby!"
(dimby isn't a word yet, but I was thinking I would try to get some teenagers to use it to refer to something...I'm not sure what, or if there's any money in it, but...I'll tell you how this works out).
All of America can love a parade. And we can have late night parades "For Adults Only"! Not that there'd be nudity, but...the people riding in the cars could swear at the people throwing the tickertape pieces! Totally cool!
Well, I sold the idea for a tidy sum. The studio, who shall remain nameless (Paramount) bought it for six figures (according to Variety...but what do they know?) So look out, here it comes, the new season of tv. Of course, the studio had some notes. They immediately asked if there was some way to not have them be "quite so parade-ey", but rather, just have advertisments with celebrities waving...I can do that, still sounds super-cool. Next tv season is gonna be Rad!
David Tristman